I kitea he tangata kua mate, ko ia anake, he tamariki ranei: me pehea te tiki awhina¶

If you have just found someone who has died, and you are on your own, this page is for you. It is also for a child, or for the adult who is looking after a child who has made this discovery. It is written in short, simple steps so that you can follow it even when your head feels foggy.

You are not in trouble. You have not done anything wrong. You do not need to be brave, and you do not need to be perfect.

Only one thing needs to happen quickly, and that is getting a grown up or a call taker on the phone. After that, other people will take over and look after you.

Mahia tenei inaianei¶

1. Stay calm and stay safe. Take a slow breath. If you feel unsafe, or you smell gas or smoke, or there is any danger in the room, go outside first.
2. Waea atu ki to nama ohorere a rohe (911 i Amerika me Kanata, 112 puta noa i te Kotahitanga o Europi, 999 i te United Kingdom). Tirohia te tau ohorere wharangi mo etahi atu whenua. Mea atu, "Ki taku whakaaro kua mate tetahi. Me awhina ahau."
3. Tell them where you are. Say the address, or say what you can see if you do not know it. Stay on the line.
4. Listen to the call taker. They may ask you to check if the person is breathing, or to open a door for the helpers. They will tell you what to do next, one step at a time.
5. Do not touch things or tidy up. You can stay near the person, or you can wait in another room. Both are fine.
6. Ask a grown up to come. A neighbour, relative, teacher, or friend can sit with you. You should not be alone for long.

That is all that is needed right now. You can read the rest of this page later, or ask someone to read it with you.

If you are a child or teenager reading this¶

Hello. You might be feeling scared, confused, or very quiet inside. All of that is okay. This is a very hard thing to see, and you did the right thing by looking for help.

Here is what to do, in plain steps:

1. Take a slow breath. In through your nose, out through your mouth. Do it three times.
2. Find a phone. Call your local emergency number. In the United States and Canada it is 911. In the European Union it is 112. In the United Kingdom it is 999.
3. Say this: "I think someone has died. I need help. My name is [your name]. I am at [your address]."
4. Keep the phone to your ear and answer the questions. If you do not know an answer, say, "I do not know." That is fine.
5. Open the front door if the call taker asks you to, so the helpers can come in. Then go back to a safe place.
6. Call a grown up you trust as well, such as a parent, an aunt, an uncle, a grandparent, a neighbour, or a teacher.

You are not in trouble. You did nothing wrong. It is not your fault that this happened. The people who come are there to help the person and to help you.

What if I am too scared to go in the room¶

You do not have to go back into the room. You can wait outside or in another room, or sit at the front door. Tell the call taker, "I am too scared to go back." They will understand.

What if I cannot find a phone¶

Knock on a neighbour's door and say, "Please help me. Someone has died in our home." If you are outside, ask any adult nearby. If you have no one, go to a shop, a pharmacy, or any place with grown ups and say the same thing.

What happens next for you¶

After you have called, helpers will come. A grown up will stay with you, and they may call your family or someone you know. You will not be asked to go through this alone.

It is normal to have lots of feelings in the next days. You might feel sad, mad, worried, or just tired. You might have trouble sleeping or want to stay close to your family.

You can tell a grown up you trust, such as a parent, teacher, or doctor, how you feel. If you want to talk to someone who is not at home, there are free helplines for young people in many countries, such as Childline in the United Kingdom, Kids Help Phone in Canada, and Kids Helpline in Australia.

Kaore koe e mahi he¶

When you find someone who has died, your body and mind may react strongly. You may feel frozen, sick, shaky, or strangely calm. You may cry or you may not cry.

You may feel angry or scared. None of these means you are doing it wrong.

Ka raru ano koe, ahakoa kaore he mea i taea e koe. Kia mahara ko te rapu i tetahi ehara i te mea he mea kee koe, he ngaro ranei tetahi mea. He maha nga huarahi ka mate te tangata, he maha nga wa kaore he whakatupato.

Ko te mea me tere te mahi ko te waea tuatahi. I muri i tera, ka taea e koe te tango i te wa e hiahia ana koe. Ma te tangata koe e awhina.

Me pehea te awhina marie ina ko koe anake¶

Mena he pakeke koe ko koe anake, penei i te hoa tata, i te kaitiaki, i te tangata noho, i tetahi mema ranei o te whanau i kitea he tangata, ka rongo pea koe i te taumaha o nga mea katoa kei runga i ou pokohiwi. Ka awhina ki te mahi i nga waahanga iti, maamaa.

Hipanga 1: tirohia kei te haumaru koe¶

Before anything else, look around quickly. If there is a gas smell, smoke, fire, a strange smell that makes you dizzy, or any sign of a break in, go outside first and call from there. If you suspect carbon monoxide, such as from a faulty heater or a car running in a garage, get fresh air straight away and tell the call taker. The guide to te haumaru o te kaihanga me te waro haukura explains the warning signs.

If you are alone and there are signs that someone else may have harmed the person, leave and call from a safe place. Your own safety comes first.

Step 2: call and speak in short sentences¶

When the call is answered, a call taker will ask, "What is the address of the emergency." Give the address first. Then say what you found: "I found my neighbour in her bedroom. She is not breathing and she is cold."

You do not have to use medical words. Say what you see in plain language. If you are not sure whether the person is alive, say so. They will guide you.

Step 3: follow instructions¶

The call taker may ask you to check for breathing, or to start chest compressions. Do exactly as they say. They will count out loud and stay with you. If they tell you it is not necessary to start, you can stop and wait.

If you want to learn what CPR involves, the Aratohu CPR is written calmly, but you do not need it to make the call.

Step 4: unlock the door and turn on a light¶

If the door is locked, and you can do so safely, unlock it so help can come in. Turn on lights, especially at night. If you have a dog or cat, put it in another room.

Step 5: ask someone to come¶

Once the first call is made, call a friend, neighbour, or relative. You can say, "Something has happened and I need you here." You do not have to explain everything.

What to say to the dispatcher¶

Many people are afraid they will say the wrong thing. There is no wrong thing. Here are some examples you can use or adapt:

• "I found my friend and I think she has died."
• "My brother is on the floor and he is not moving. He is cold."
• "I am the neighbour. I let myself in because I had a key, and I found him in his chair."
• "I am a child. My grandpa is not waking up."

Then answer the questions as best you can. They often ask:

• What is the address
• What is your name and phone number
• How old is the person
• Is the person awake or breathing
• Is anyone else with you

If you do not know the person's age or name, say, "I do not know." If you are a visitor and do not know the address, look for a letter, a street sign, or ask a neighbour. You can also tell the call taker what you can see around you.

If you cannot speak or do not speak the local language¶

Many emergency services can connect you with an interpreter. Say your language clearly, or say "interpreter". If you cannot speak at all, stay on the line. In some countries you can send a text to emergency services, and the tau ohorere page explains how.

If you are not sure whether the person is dead¶

You do not have to decide. You can say, "I do not know if she is alive." The call taker will guide you. In many situations they will ask you to check for breathing and, if needed, to start chest compressions. If a person is cold, stiff, or has clearly been dead for some time, the call taker will tell you that CPR is not needed.

What to touch, and what to leave alone¶

Your instinct may be to cover the person, tidy the room, or move something. It is natural to want to care for them. A few simple guidelines can help.

If you have already touched something, tell the crew. That is all they need. They know that people do natural things in shock.

Phones and messages¶

Do not send photos or details of what you found to anyone. This protects the person's dignity and the family. If you need to tell people, ask the professionals when it is a good time and what to say.

A flow for finding someone who has died¶

flowchart TD
    A["You find someone who may have died"] --> B{"Is the room safe"}
    B -->|"Kao"| C["Haere ki waho ka waea mai i reira"]
    B -->|"Ae"| D["Waea atu ki to nama whawhati tata"]
    C --> D
    D --> E["Korerohia nga mea e kite ana koe ka hoatu te wahitau"]
    E --> F{"Ka tono te kaikawe waea mo te CPR"}
    F -->|"Ae"| G["A pee i nga tohutohu taahiraa i te taahiraa"]
    F -->|"Kao"| H["Tatari ki te raina ka whakatuwhera i te tatau"]
    G --> I["Ka tae mai nga kaiawhina ki te tango"]
    H --> I
    I --> J["Ka haere mai tetahi pakeke pono ki te noho ki a koe"]
    J --> K["Ka okioki koe, ka tiakina koe"]

Ina kitea e te tamaiti he mate¶

Mena ko koe te pakeke te kawenga mo te tamaiti kua kite i tetahi kua mate, i tata ranei, ko to noho marino te mea nui atu i nga korero katoa. Ka whai whakaaro nga tamariki mai i nga pakeke e noho tata ana ki a ratou. Mena he u, he ngawari koe, ka noho haumaru ratou.

Tuatahi, tangohia te tamaiti i te waahi¶

Mena kei roto tonu te tamaiti i roto i te ruma, ata arahina ki waho. Ka ki atu, "Taua ka haere, ka noho tahi ki tetahi ruma, ka noho ahau ki a koe." Whiriwhiria he waahi me te sofa, he paraikete, me tetahi mea hei pupuri. Noho tata.

Kaua e waiho noa i a koe e pa ana ki te ohorere. Mena me waea koe, tono atu ki tetahi atu pakeke kia noho ki te taha o te tamaiti, waea mai ranei mai i te ruma kotahi me te tamaiti i to taha.

Korerohia te pono ma te ngawari¶

He pai ake te mahi a nga tamariki ki te whakamarama ngawari me te pono i te korero marama. A ape i te korero "kua moe" ranei "kua ngaro ia". Ka taea e enei te whakawehi i nga tamariki me te raruraru mo te moe me te ngaro.

Whakamātauria nga kupu penei: "Kua mate a koroua. Ko te tikanga kua mutu tana tinana kaore e taea te hoki mai. Ehara nau te he, kei te haere mai nga kaiawhina ki te tiaki i a ia, kei konei ahau ki a koe."

Ko te aratohu ki te korero ki nga tamariki me nga taiohi mo te mate he maha ake nga kupu mo nga reanga rereke.

Tukua te tamaiti kia rite ki a ia ano¶

Ka tangi etahi tamariki. He maha nga patai a etahi. He ahua pai etahi ka oma ki te takaro. Ko etahi ka ata noho.

He mea noa enei katoa, he maha nga wa ka neke haere nga tamariki i roto i te pouri. Kaua e korero ki a ratou me pehea te ahua. Ka taea e koe te kii, "Ko nga mea katoa kei te pai koe."

He aha hei karo¶

• Kaua e kii na ratou te he, me mohio ranei ratou.
• Kaua e tono ki a ratou ki te whakaahua i nga mea i kitea e ratou.
• Kaua e kii kia maia, kia mutu te tangi.
• Kaua e waiho ko ratou anake i roto i te ruma, i roto ranei i te whare.
• Kaua e tukua kia rongo i nga korero whakairoiro mai i etahi atu pakeke.

Kia ngawari nga mahinga¶

Hoatu he inu me te paramanawa. Mena ka hiahia nga kaiawhina ki te korero ki te tamaiti, noho ki to taha ka whakamohio ka taea e ratou te kii "Kare au e pai ki te korero." Kua waia nga pirihimana me nga kaiparapara ki te korero marie ki nga tamariki, a he tokomaha ka tuturi ki raro ka whakamahi kupu ngawari.

Ko wai ka taea te tautoko i te tamaiti¶

Ko te pakeke whakawhirinaki penei i te matua, koroua, kaiako, hoa whanau ranei me noho ki te taha o te tamaiti i nga haora e whai ake nei. Mena ka kite te tamaiti i tetahi mea whakamataku, korero atu ki tana taakuta, ki te kaitohutohu o te kura, ki tetahi ratonga mate tamariki ranei. He maha nga whenua kei te kore utu nga ratonga whakaheke tamariki, a ka taea e te taote, te kura ranei te awhina i a koe ki te rapu.

He aha te mea ka tae mai nga kaiawhina¶

Ka uru mai nga kaiparapara me nga pirihimana ki te tiaki i te tangata maataki. Ka taea e ratou te tirotiro mena ka taea tetahi mea. Ka korero marie ratou ka patai etahi patai ngawari. He atawhai, he waia ki te noho ki te taha o nga tangata i nga wa uaua.

Mena he tamaiti koe, tera pea ka noho te tangata pakeke ki a koe. Ka taea e koe te ui, "Ka taea e au te noho ki a koe." Ka taea e koe te ki atu, "Kaore au e pai ki te whakautu i etahi atu patai i naianei." Ka marama ratou.

I roto i te nuinga o nga whenua, ka haere nga pirihimana ki te mate ohorere, a he mahi noa tenei. Ehara i te mea he mahi he koe. Ka kitea e koe etahi atu korero i roto i te aratohu i runga i a mema o te whanau i mate ohorere i te kainga i te po.

Mena ka kitea e koe he tangata ke, he hoa tata ranei¶

Mena ka kitea e koe tetahi kaore koe e tino mohio, penei i te hoa tata, i te kaihoko, i te tauhou e hikoi ana, i tetahi tangata ranei i te waahi whanui, he rite tonu nga hikoi. Waea atu ki te nama ohorere, noho haumaru, hoatu ki te kaikawe waea te waahi tika. Kaua e nekehia te tangata. Noho i runga i te raina, tatari kia tae mai te awhina ki te haumaru.

Ka hiahia pea koe ki te wehe i muri mai. Ka patai pea nga pirihimana mo to ingoa me tetahi korero poto. He pai ki te kii kei te pouri koe me te tono mo tetahi wa. Mena ka wiri koe i muri mai, korero ki tetahi hoa, ki te taote ranei.

Mena kaore i taea e koe te toro atu ki tetahi ka haere ki te tirotiro¶

Many people find a person who has died after they have not answered the phone or the door for a while. If you are worried about someone, you can ask the police for a welfare check by calling your local non-emergency number, or the emergency number if you believe they are in danger. Officers can enter the home safely and look after the person, and you do not have to go in alone.

If you decide to go in yourself, for example with a key, tell another person where you are going and keep your phone in your hand. Call out the person's name as you enter. If you find them and you think they have died, step back, call the emergency number from where you are standing, and wait for help if you can do so safely.

You may feel guilt about not checking sooner. It is a very common feeling, and it does not mean you failed. Most people cannot predict a sudden death, and caring about someone does not mean being there every hour.

If you are a carer or visitor who found a client or relative¶

Home carers, nurses, cleaners, delivery drivers, and visitors sometimes find a person who has died. If this happens to you at work, call the emergency number first, then tell your employer or agency. You are not expected to deal with this on your own, and you should not be left alone afterwards.

Write down the time you arrived, what you saw, and who you called. Keep your notes short and factual. Ask your employer about a debrief, counselling, or a support line, because many workplaces offer these. If they do not, you can ask your doctor.

You may be asked to give a statement. It is fine to say you are shaken and ask for a short break. You can also ask for a colleague or friend to be with you.

Common worries, answered gently¶

"I did not feel anything, and I am worried that means something is wrong with me." Numbness is one of the most common reactions. Your mind is protecting you while you take in what happened. Feelings often arrive later, sometimes in waves.

"I laughed, or I felt angry." Strong and surprising reactions happen in shock. They do not mean you did not care.

"I keep seeing it in my mind." Intrusive pictures are common in the first days and usually fade. Talking to someone, keeping a gentle routine, and sleeping when you can all help. If the images are still strong after about a month, speak to your doctor.

"I want to go back and see the person." Many people do. Ask the funeral director or the coroner's office whether and when a visit is possible. You can bring a trusted person with you.

"Mehemea he tangata kaore au i tino mohio?" Ka raru tonu koe. He mea maori te pouri mo te mate i kite koe, ahakoa he tauhou te tangata.

When to ask for more help¶

Contact your doctor, a counsellor, or a support line if, after a couple of weeks, you cannot sleep, cannot stop thinking about it, are avoiding places or people, feel constantly on edge, or are using alcohol or drugs to cope. These are not signs of weakness. They are signs that your mind could use extra support, and help is effective.

Looking after yourself after finding someone¶

Finding someone who has died can stay with you in your mind, and it can come back in dreams or sudden memories. This is common. Many people find that it gets softer over time, but it can take weeks.

In the first hours:

• Sit down and sip some water.
• Wrap up warm if you feel cold.
• Eat something small if you can.
• Breathe slowly, with a long breath out.
• Stay with someone you trust.
• Let yourself cry or not cry.

In the days after:

• Try to keep to a gentle routine of meals and sleep.
• Talk to someone about what you saw, if you want to. You do not have to.
• Avoid alcohol and drugs to numb the feelings.
• Take a few days off work or school if you can.
• Speak to your doctor if you have nightmares, panic, or cannot stop picturing the scene for more than a few weeks.

Ko te aratohu ki te tiaki ia koe ano i roto i te pouri nui has more detail on physical symptoms, sleep, and when to seek help.

If you feel you cannot go on¶

If you ever feel that you cannot bear this, or you have thoughts of harming yourself, tell someone right away. Call your local emergency number, or a crisis line such as 988 in the United States and Canada. The tau ohorere page lists crisis lines for other countries. You can also read the guide on mental health crisis.

For adults looking after a child who is alone¶

Sometimes a child is alone in the home with the person who has died, for example a child whose parent was ill. If you are a neighbour, teacher, relative, or professional who learns of this, here is how to help.

1. Go to the child if it is safe, and speak calmly.
2. Call the emergency number and tell them a child is present.
3. Stay with the child until a family member or social worker arrives.
4. Do not ask for details of what the child saw.
5. Let the child have a favourite toy or blanket.
6. Tell the child who is coming and what will happen next.

If you are worried about a child's safety or who will care for them, tell the police or child protection services. In many countries there is a child welfare line, and the emergency services can contact it for you.

Nga rereketanga o te whenua¶

These notes are general. Check locally for details.

I te United States¶

Call 911. Police and paramedics attend. A coroner or medical examiner may become involved.

Child protective services may be contacted if a child is alone, as a way of making sure the child has a safe adult. The 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is available by phone or text if you are struggling.

I te United Kingdom¶

Call 999. Police and ambulance attend a sudden death. Victim Support and Samaritans offer free emotional support, and Cruse Bereavement Support helps after a death. Children can call Childline for free.

I Kanata¶

Call 911. Police and paramedics attend, and a coroner or medical examiner may be involved. Kids Help Phone offers free support for young people, and 988 is the suicide crisis line.

I Ahitereiria¶

Call 000. Police attend and act for the coroner. Kids Helpline offers free support for young people, and Lifeline supports adults in crisis.

I etahi atu whenua¶

Ko te tau ohorere page lists numbers by country. If you are a visitor, your embassy or consulate can help with next steps and with contacting family.

He korero mo te whakangungu awhina tuatahi¶

A hands-on first aid course from the Red Cross, St John Ambulance, or a local provider can build confidence in a real emergency. Many schools and workplaces offer them. There is no need to do anything today, and nobody should feel they must be prepared for something like this.

Pātai auau¶

Do I have to call the emergency number if I am sure the person has died?¶

Yes. A sudden death must be reported, and the emergency number is the way to do that. The call taker will send trained help, and they can also tell you whether CPR is needed. Calling quickly is the right and respectful thing to do.

What should a child say when they call the emergency number?¶

A child can say, "I think someone has died. I need help. My name is [name] and I am at [address]." They should stay on the line and answer questions as best they can. It is fine to say "I do not know" and to ask for a grown up to come.

Should I let a child see the person who has died?¶

Choices depend on the child, the situation, and what you are able to support. If the child has already seen the person, stay close and answer questions honestly and simply. If they have not, it is usually kinder to wait and decide later with a calm adult beside them, and the children's guide to talking about death can help.

Will the police think I did something wrong?¶

No. Police attend sudden deaths as a routine part of helping the coroner. They will ask simple questions about who you are and what you found. Answer honestly, say if you are upset, and ask for a trusted person to sit with you.

Kua tirohia nga puna¶

• NHS (United Kingdom): guidance on what to do when someone dies and on bereavement support.
• GOV.UK (United Kingdom): guidance on deaths reported to a coroner.
• Red Cross (American Red Cross, British Red Cross): guidance on supporting children and families after a death.
• American Heart Association (United States): guidance for bystanders and emergency call takers.
• Government of Canada and provincial coroner services: reporting a death.
• Australian Government and state coroner information: reporting a death.
• National Alliance for Children's Grief (United States) and Winston's Wish (United Kingdom): supporting children who have experienced a death.
• 988 Whakamomori me te Crisis Lifeline (United States me Canada), Samaria (United Kingdom), me Lifeline (Australia).

Procedures differ by country and region. Follow the instructions of the call taker and local officials.

Nga kaiarahi e pa ana¶

• I mate ohorere tetahi mema o te whanau i te kainga
• Te korero ki nga tamariki me nga taiohi mo te mate
• Te tiaki i a koe i roto i te pouri nui
• Nga haora tuatahi me nga ra i muri i te mate i te kainga
• Aratohu CPR