Үйде күтілетін өлім: кімге бірінші қоңырау шалу керек және одан кейін не болады¶

Егер сіз жақсы көретін адам ауыр аурумен өмір сүрсе және қазір үйде қайтыс болса, сіз бірден көп нәрсені сезінуіңіз мүмкін: қайғы, жеңілдік, бос болу, шаршау, тіпті ұйқышылдық. Мұның бәрі қалыпты және олардың ешқайсысы сіз оны дұрыс емес істеп жатырсыз дегенді білдірмейді. Сіз ұзақ және шаршаған уақытты бастан өткердіңіз және сізге шаршауға рұқсат берілді.

Бұл нұсқаулық әдетте адам үйінде хоспис, паллиативтік көмек немесе өмірінің аяқталуы кезінде күтілетін өлімге арналған. Білу керек ең бастысы - асықпау керек. Келесі бірнеше минутта бір тыныш телефон қоңырауынан басқа ештеңе болмауы керек және бұл қоңырау әдетте сіздің отбасыңызды білетін медбикеге немесе күтім тобына келеді. Сіз отыруға, дем алуға және телефонды көтермес бұрын адаммен қалағаныңызша уақыт өткізуге болады.

Мұны қазір жасаңыз¶

1. Stay where you are for a moment. Sit with the person. Hold their hand if you wish. There is no emergency in the sense of a race against time.
2. Find the care plan or the hospice number. It is often on the refrigerator, in a folder near the bed, or saved in your phone under "hospice" or "palliative care". If you cannot find it, ask someone else in the home to look.
3. Call the hospice, palliative care, or end of life nurse line first, if you have a plan that tells you to. Say, "My loved one has died. Can you send a nurse." Most services answer 24 hours a day.
4. If you have no plan, no number, or nobody answers, call your local emergency number (911 in the United States and Canada, 112 across the European Union, 999 in the United Kingdom) or the person's doctor. See the шұғыл нөмірлер page for other countries. Say clearly that this was an expected death.
5. Keep the do-not-resuscitate paperwork where it can be seen if there is any, and show it to anyone who arrives. Do not start CPR if there is a valid order and the care team has told you the person is not to be resuscitated.
6. Бір адамға келіп, сізбен бірге отыруды сұраңыз. Досыңыз, туысыңыз немесе көршіңіз шай дайындап, қоңырау шалып, сізбен бірге бола алады.

Қалғанының бәрі, соның ішінде жерлеу директоры, отбасылық қоңыраулар және құжаттарды рәсімдеу жұмсақ қарқынмен орындалады.

Сіз ештеңе істеп жатқан жоқсыз¶

When a death has been expected, people often feel they should be calm and organised. Some feel shocked anyway, because being ready in your head is different from being ready in your heart. Some feel nothing at all.

Кейбіреулер қайғы-қасірет бітті деп жеңілдік сезінеді, содан кейін жеңілдік үшін кінәлі сезінеді. Мұның барлығы ортақ екенін біліңіз.

Сондай-ақ, сіз дәл сәтті жіберіп алдыңыз ба немесе басқаша істеу керек пе деп ойлайсыз. Егер сіз ұйықтап жатқан болсаңыз, басқа бөлмеде болсаңыз немесе бұл орын алған кезде бір шыны шай ішкен болсаңыз, бұл өте жиі кездеседі. Көптеген адамдар бөлмеде ешкім болмаған кезде өледі, ал кейбіреулері отбасы алыстағанша күтетін сияқты. Бұл махаббат пен қамқорлықтың сәтсіздігі емес.

Nothing needs to be done quickly except calling the right service. You can take as long as you want to sit with the person, and you can tell the nurse when you are ready for them to come.

Who to call first: the short version¶

Дұрыс бірінші қоңырау жоспардың бар-жоғына байланысты. Бұл кесте сізге шешім қабылдауға көмектеседі.

If you are not sure which row fits, call the emergency number. It is always better to make that call than to wait and worry.

Why the hospice line comes first when there is a plan¶

Hospice and palliative care teams plan ahead with families. They know the person's wishes, medicines, and paperwork. They can send a nurse who is trained to confirm death, support you, and arrange the next steps.

If you call the emergency number instead, a crew may arrive who does not know the person and who is required to start resuscitation unless they see valid paperwork. This can be upsetting for everyone. That is why hospice teams ask families to call them first.

Why the emergency number is sometimes still right¶

There are times when the emergency number is the right call, even in a planned death. If there is no plan or the plan is not clear, if you cannot reach the hospice team, or if something unexpected has happened, call without delay. The call taker will ask questions and send the right help.

If the person was only recently ill and nobody had talked about end of life care, treat it as a sudden death. The guide on a family member who died overnight at home unexpectedly explains what happens in that case.

Paperwork that matters: do not resuscitate and similar orders¶

Different countries use different names and forms for a person's choice not to be resuscitated. They are not interchangeable, and they do not work the same way everywhere. This is one of the biggest differences between countries, so please read the part that matches where you live and then check with the care team.

In some places an order must be a particular signed form to be accepted by paramedics. In others, a conversation or a note in the person's records may not be enough on its own. Ask the hospice team early which form your area uses and where it should be kept, ideally well before the day comes.

If paperwork cannot be found¶

If you cannot find the form, do not panic. Tell the call taker or the nurse straight away. Say, "My loved one was under hospice care and this was expected."

They will tell you what to do, which may include starting CPR. Follow their instruction. The most important thing is to be honest and calm.

If paramedics arrive and start trying to help¶

If paramedics arrive and there is no visible form, they may begin resuscitation. It can feel distressing to watch, but it is their legal duty. Tell them clearly and quickly what you know, and show any paperwork you can find. If the hospice nurse is on the way, tell them so.

If the paperwork is found while they are working, hand it to them at once. They are trained to follow valid orders and will stop when it is right to do so.

What happens after you make the call¶

Once you call the hospice or care team, a nurse will usually come to the home. They may talk to you by phone first and ask whether the person has stopped breathing and whether you are safe. They will tell you not to worry and that you can stay with the person.

When the nurse arrives, they will gently check the person and confirm that death has occurred. They will note the time. They are kind, quiet, and used to helping families. You can ask questions at any time.

What the nurse may do¶

Елге және қызметке байланысты медбике:

• Өлімді растаңыз және жазыңыз.
• Қажет болса, адамның дәрігеріне немесе коронорға хабарласыңыз.
• Қаласаңыз, адамды жууға және дайындауға көмектесіңіз немесе оны жерлеу жетекшісіне қалдырыңыз.
• Шприц драйверлері, патчтар немесе катетер сияқты медициналық құрылғыларды алып тастаңыз.
• Сізге әрі қарай не істеу керектігі туралы жазбаша ақпарат беріңіз.
• Help you deal with medicines left in the home.
• Сізбен бірге немесе сіз үшін жерлеу директорын шақыруды ұсыныңыз.
• Сізбен бірге отыруды немесе отбасы мүшесін шақыруды ұсыныңыз.

You can say yes or no to any of this. If you want to wash and dress your loved one yourself, many services will support that. If you prefer to leave it all to professionals, that is fine too.

Verification of death¶

Verification, sometimes called pronouncement, is when an authorised person confirms that someone has died. Who can do this differs by country:

• In the United States, a hospice nurse, doctor, or in some states a coroner can pronounce death. A physician or the medical examiner then signs the death certificate.
• In the United Kingdom, a doctor or trained nurse can verify an expected death. A doctor, usually the GP or hospital doctor, completes the medical certificate of cause of death, and the family then registers the death.
• In Canada, a physician, nurse practitioner, or in some provinces a registered nurse can confirm and pronounce death. The rules depend on the province or territory.
• In Australia, a doctor or in some states a trained nurse can verify death. A doctor completes the certificate, and the funeral director helps with registration.

You do not need to know these details in advance. The nurse who comes will explain what applies to you.

While you wait for the nurse¶

The nurse may take an hour or two to arrive. This time is yours. It does not have to be used for anything practical.

Some families light a candle, play favourite music, say a prayer, or share memories. Others simply sit quietly. Some people open a window as part of a custom or belief. You can do whatever feels right, as long as it is safe.

What to leave as it is¶

For an expected death, there is usually less to leave untouched than in a sudden death, but a few things should still wait:

• Do not throw away any medicines. The nurse will tell you what to do with them.
• Do not remove the person's ID bracelet or medical alert items yet.
• Keep the care plan and paperwork where the nurse can find them.
• Төсек пен бөлмені медбике аяқтағанша сол күйінде қалдырыңыз.

Сіз адамның көзін ақырын жұмып, көрпесін түзетіп, қолдарын ыңғайлы етіп қоюға болады. Көптеген медбикелер мұны ынталандырады. Сенбесеңіз, қоңырау шалған кезде сұраңыз.

Who to tell¶

You may want to tell family and friends. You do not need to do this before the nurse arrives, and you can ask someone else to make the calls for you. If you want to send a short message, you can write, "I am so sorry to tell you that [name] died peacefully at home today. I will call you when I can."

Keep a simple list of who has been told. When many people are grieving at once, it is easy to lose track.

Medicines and equipment left in the home¶

After a hospice death there are often medicines, oxygen cylinders, syringe drivers, and other equipment at home. This can feel upsetting, and you do not have to deal with it right away.

Дәрілер¶

Hospice and palliative care teams often have a clear process for medicines. In some places, the nurse can help you dispose of them according to local rules. In others, you should keep them secure until a pharmacist, nurse, or take-back scheme collects them.

Official guidance in many countries asks that you not flush medicines down the toilet or throw them in household waste unless the label says so. Use a pharmacy take-back scheme, community take-back day, or the hospice's own disposal arrangement. Do not give leftover medicines to anyone else. If there are strong painkillers or controlled drugs, keep them out of sight and locked away until they are collected.

Equipment¶

Hospital beds, oxygen concentrators, commodes, and other items are often loaned by the hospice, a health service, or a charity. The team will usually tell you who to call to collect them. You do not have to do it today. Many families like to wait a few days or weeks.

Syringe drivers and devices¶

A nurse will often remove these themselves. Do not try to disconnect them unless you have been shown how. If a device is alarming, you can silence it and call the number on the device or the hospice.

Choosing and calling a funeral director¶

You can call a funeral director once the death has been confirmed, either with the nurse's help or afterwards. There is no need to choose anyone in a hurry. You can take your time, and you can make the call the next morning if you prefer.

If you already have a plan with a funeral home, call them. If not, ask a friend, a faith community, the hospice team, or a local bereavement service for suggestions. You are allowed to ask for prices and to choose a funeral director who feels right for you.

What to say on the call¶

You can say, "Our loved one died at home today. The nurse has confirmed the death. We would like to talk about the next steps." They will ask for the name, address, and a few other details, and they will explain how they can help.

Funeral directors in most countries can collect the person at any hour. Some will come within an hour or two, and others will arrange a time that suits you. You do not have to say yes to the first time offered.

Consumer rights¶

In many countries, funeral homes must give you a clear written price list on request. In the United States, the Funeral Rule from the Federal Trade Commission requires this. In the United Kingdom, funeral directors must display prices and give written quotes under rules from the Competition and Markets Authority. Ask for an itemised list if you feel unsure.

If something goes wrong with a funeral home, the guide on funeral home mix-ups, delays, or overcharging explains your rights.

If you are not sure the person has died¶

In the minutes after a long illness, it can be hard to tell. The person may look peaceful, as if sleeping. Breathing at the end of life can be very slow, with long pauses, and families sometimes wonder whether a pause is the last one.

You do not have to decide this by yourself. Call the hospice line and say, "I think she has died, but I am not sure." The nurse can talk you through what to look for, or come to check. If the nurse cannot be reached, call your local emergency number and explain that you are not sure.

Do not worry about calling too early. Nobody will mind. Waiting quietly and calling for guidance is always acceptable.

Common things families notice¶

Some things surprise families, and they are usually normal. The body may relax and the face may soften. The skin may become cooler and pale.

A small sound or movement may happen shortly afterwards as the body settles. If any of this worries you, tell the nurse, who has seen it many times and can explain it kindly.

When there are other people in the home¶

If children, older relatives, or visitors are in the house, ask someone to look after them while you make the call. Tell them calmly and truthfully that the person has died and that a nurse is on the way. The guide to telling children and teens about a death offers simple words for each age.

A flow for an expected death at home¶

flowchart TD
    A["Your loved one has died at home and it was expected"] --> B["Sit with them for as long as you like"]
    B --> C{"Do you have a hospice or palliative care plan"}
    C -->|"Иә"| D["Call the hospice or care team line"]
    C -->|"Жоқ немесе сенімсіз"| E["Call your local emergency number or the doctor"]
    D --> F["Nurse comes and confirms the death"]
    E --> G["Crew attends and may need to follow their protocol"]
    F --> H["Doctor or coroner informed as needed"]
    G --> H
    H --> I["Call a funeral director when you are ready"]
    I --> J["Rest, eat something, and ask for support"]

After the nurse has gone¶

When the nurse and funeral director have left, the house may feel very quiet. This is often the hardest moment. You may feel flat, lost, or suddenly very tired. It is normal for the body to feel heavy after a long period of caring.

Try to eat something and drink water. If you have been caring for someone for weeks or months, your body is likely depleted. You do not have to do anything else tonight.

Sleep and the first night¶

You may not sleep, or you may sleep for many hours. Both are normal. If you have trouble sleeping, you can try a warm drink, a quiet room, or the company of a friend. Please avoid using alcohol to numb the feelings, since it often makes the following days harder.

If you have a sleeping medicine that your doctor prescribed, follow the instructions on the label. Do not take anyone else's medicines. If you are worried about your own health, call your doctor or a nurse line.

Feeling relief¶

After a long illness, relief is a common emotion. Many people feel guilty about it. Relief does not mean you loved the person less. It means you are glad that suffering has ended and that the long wait is over.

You can feel relief and sorrow at the same time. This mix is normal and usually softens over time.

Одан кейінгі күндер¶

Бірінші күн өткеннен кейін бірнеше қадамдарды орындау қажет болады. нұсқаушысы first hours and days after a death at home has a full checklist. In short:

• A death certificate or medical certificate will be completed by a doctor.
• The death will need to be registered with the appropriate office, which varies by country and region.
• A funeral or other farewell can be arranged at your own pace.
• Family and friends can be told, with help.
• Money, bank accounts, and legal matters can wait for a few days.

Hospice and palliative care teams usually offer bereavement support to families for many months after a death. Ask the team about counselling, support groups, or phone calls. Many families find these helpful.

If you were the main caregiver¶

Being a caregiver can be all consuming, and when it ends, there can be a sudden empty space. You may feel lost or unsure of your role. You may also feel exhausted and physically unwell.

Please be patient. Rest, eat regularly, and let others help. Consider seeing your own doctor in the coming weeks, because long periods of caring can take a toll. The guide to hospice and end of life emergencies және hospice home care guide describe what happens in the final hours, in case you want to understand what you saw.

Differences by country¶

Rules differ, so please check locally. These notes are general guidance only.

Америка Құрама Штаттарында¶

Hospice agencies are required to offer a 24 hour phone line. Calling them rather than 911 is usually right if the person was enrolled in hospice. The hospice nurse can pronounce death in most states, and a funeral home collects the person. The hospice or doctor completes the medical part of the death certificate, and the funeral director usually files it with the state.

Ұлыбританияда¶

Call the out of hours district nurse, the palliative care helpline in your care plan, or the GP out of hours service. If you are unsure, call NHS 111. A doctor must complete the medical certificate, and the death is normally registered within five days in England and Wales. If the death was not expected after all, call 999.

Канадада¶

Call the palliative care team, home care nurse, or after hours line listed in your plan. If you have none, call the person's doctor or your local emergency number. Procedures for who can pronounce death differ by province. Funeral homes and provincial civil registration offices handle registration.

In Australia¶

Call the community palliative care service, the GP, or the after hours line in your care plan. If none is reachable, call 000. A doctor or authorised nurse confirms the death, and the funeral director helps with registration in your state or territory.

Looking after yourself¶

Please see the guide to қатты қайғыда өзіңізге қамқорлық жасау for physical symptoms, sleep, food, and when to seek help. For now, remember the basics:

• Drink water and eat something small.
• Rest when you can.
• Stay close to people who care about you.
• Do not make big decisions.
• Tell someone if you feel very low or unsafe.

If you ever feel that you cannot go on, or you think about harming yourself, call your local emergency number or a crisis line right away. The шұғыл нөмірлер page lists crisis lines for many countries, including 988 in the United States and Canada.

A note on first aid training¶

If you would like to feel more prepared for future emergencies, a hands-on first aid course from the Red Cross, St John Ambulance, or a local provider is a good idea. There is no hurry, and many caregivers find that learning later helps them feel steadier. For today, you are allowed to rest.

Жиі қойылатын сұрақтар¶

Should I call the emergency number or the hospice when someone dies at home under hospice care?¶

If a hospice or palliative care plan exists, call the hospice or care team line first, because they know the person and the paperwork. Calling the emergency number can lead to a crew who must try resuscitation if they do not see valid paperwork. If you cannot reach the hospice, or there is no plan, call your local emergency number and say clearly that the death was expected.

Do I have to wait for the nurse before I do anything?¶

You can sit with your loved one for as long as you like before and after you call. Try not to remove medical devices or throw away medicines until the nurse has been, because they will tell you what to do. You may gently close their eyes, straighten their blanket, and stay close. If you are unsure, ask the nurse on the phone.

How soon do I need to call a funeral director?¶

There is no set deadline in the first hours, and many families wait until the morning. The nurse or doctor will usually confirm the death first. You can then call a funeral director when you feel ready, and they can collect your loved one at a time that works for you.

What should I do with leftover medicines?¶

Keep them secure and out of sight, and do not flush them or give them to anyone else. Ask the hospice nurse, a pharmacist, or your local health service about take-back schemes or disposal arrangements. Strong painkillers and controlled drugs should be locked away until they are collected.

Дереккөздер тексерілді¶

• NHS (United Kingdom): "What to do after someone dies", "Verification of expected death", and end of life care guidance.
• GOV.UK (United Kingdom): "Tell us once" and guidance on registering a death.
• Hospice UK: guidance for families after a death at home.
• National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization (United States): "What to do when death occurs" and guidance on hospice and 911.
• Federal Trade Commission (United States): The Funeral Rule.
• Government of Canada and provincial palliative care resources on advance care planning and DNR orders.
• Australian Government Department of Health: palliative care at home and advance care directives; Services Australia: what to do when someone dies.
• ReSPECT process and DNACPR guidance from the Resuscitation Council UK.
• Red Cross (American Red Cross, British Red Cross): support after a bereavement.

Procedures differ by country, region, and care provider. Follow the instructions of your hospice team and local officials.

Қатысты нұсқаулықтар¶

• Family member died overnight at home unexpectedly
• First hours and days after a death at home
• Hospice and end of life crisis
• Looking after yourself in acute grief
• Death of a spouse or partner who handled everything